My years as the mother of toddlers is a distant and blurry memory. During that time I don't remember being awestruck by the whirling dervishes that swarmed around my every waking moment. I basically remember the chaos and eagerly waited for them to transition to a less tantrum-centric developmental stage (who knew then, that a tantrum-centric stage doesn't really exist ).



Re-living the toddler stage with my grandson has had its challenges, but, as I sit here now reflecting on what I have learned about self-care, spontaneity, meeting one's needs and just the simple joy of living - I am so grateful for this experience.

First, I have learned more deeply and tangibly that these amazing young humans are just like me. They want to be seen, respected and recognized as fully human treated as any other human would expect to be treated.

Marginalizing young children by minimizing their feelings, wants and experiences dismisses their personhood and, well frankly, pisses them off (and nothing beats the persistent tantrum stamina of a toddler).



These amazing humans know what they want and when they want it and instead of oppressing them and making them bend to the will of cultural norms and mores that keep us all in line, maintaining a status quo that is frustrating and repressive, it's refreshing to watch my daughter parent my grandson in a way that fosters independence, creativity, self-efficacy and autonomy.

Another life lesson presented itself just the other morning as my daughter was getting ready to go to work and asked if I would get Theo up and dressed for school.

I entered his bedroom and gently roused him from his sleep, as I lifted him from his crib and placed him on the big bed to dress him he let out a series of rapid fire farts - we both paused for a second and then Theo burst into a belly laugh. I couldn't help but join in the laughter. I love how he embraces his body.

Sometimes farts just feel good and they are always funny! Imagine if we could all be so comfortable with our body and the funny things it 'says' and does.

The other thing I have learned living with a toddler is to listen to my body (and I don't mean it's borborygmi). When Theo is tired he falls asleep, simple as that and he wakes up when he is ready to wake up.

He eats what he wants to eat, not too much and not too little, but just enough to satisfy him. And when he hears a tune that speaks to him, he ALWAYS dances and sings!

Theo and his cousin Chris playing the piano

But, probably the coolest thing I have learned living with my grandson is to savor the present moment, allow myself to get immersed in the wonder and beauty that is ever present (I can't tell you how many rocks, twigs and leaves we have collected on our walks along the river and each one is special ). 



If I were to list these poignant lessons, this is what it would look like:

• Be yourself and stand up for yourself ALWAYS
• Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself
• Dance and sing regularly
• Enjoy NOW, don't put it off. We only have one life, LIVE IT to its fullest
• Oh, and love unconditionally; tell those you love often, even if they are just popping out to the supermarket or going upstairs to use the bathroom, just say it - frequently, and mean it always

This year wasn't what I thought it was going to be. The lessons I have learned while living with a toddler in 2021 will shape my 2022.

What about you?

What nuggets of wisdom are you able to glean from 2021. As you metabolize the last 12-months with all its ups and downs, highs and lows, traumas and triumphs, what will you discard and what will you keep?

Remember, the life you experience is the one you create. It begins with you loving yourself, respecting yourself and knowing yourself. How you love, care, and respect yourself is how you love, care, and respect others. It's that simple.



Make the investment in yourself, you are worth it!

Thanks for taking the time to read me

Take care and care well,

Mary